Category Archives: Diane Chambers

S2E10: Diane’s DTR Outfit

In Episode 10 of Season 2, “How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Call You Back,” Sam and Diane dance circles around the eternal dating question: “What are we doing” aka “Where are we going?” aka “Do you love me?” (of course, it’s Diane’s idea to discuss it in the first place). In one of the rare times that we see Diane’s unbottoned side, if you will, Sam goes to Diane’s apartment to find her a few wine bottles deep.

Sam: “Wow! You’re drunk!”
Diane: “Wow! You’re stupid! I’ll be sober in the morning.”
Sam: “You’re upset about my not thinking about our relationship. I will start thinking about our relationship. Maybe we should take some time off, not see each other for a while. That way I’ll just have one thing on my mind the whole time.”
Diane: “That’s one more than you usually have.”

After pointing out his lack of intelligence a few more times, they decide to meet back up in a week and have the talk. The DTR (“Define the Relationship”), as my friends and I have always called it. Throughout the episode Diane wears a few short-sleeve knit sweaters.

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Of course, Sam mucks the whole thing up because he keeps choking on the word “love.” If you’ve dated a dude in San Francisco, this might sound familiar:

Sam: “Obviously the only reason that I’m with you is that I luh–”
Diane: “What, Sam?”
Sam: “I said the reason that I’m with you is that I luh.”
Diane: “You luh?”
Sam: “You know what I mean.”
Diane: “Well what’s the matter? Can’t you say it?”
Sam: “Of course I can. I luh–I luh–I luh.”

But of course it ends wtih a Carla Tortelli gem.

Diane, gushing: “Hey everybody! Sam can’t say he loves me!”
Carla: “Who can?”

Just go watch it on Netflix already. Here is Dian’es wonderfully un-Diane outfit: chunky sweater, grey pleated bomber jacket, and drawstring pants. So good.

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And a few modern options:

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1. Iro Fabiola Biker Jacket. 2. Yoon Colorblock Sailing Sweater, Anthropologie. 3. sir sir by correll correll Alva Chrome Top, Anthropologie. 4. Marc by Marc Jacobs Anarchy Striped Cotton-Blend Sweater. 5. Paige Drawstring Trouser. 6. Sparrow Sunstrip Pullover, Anthropologie. 7. Paul & Joe Argovie Cotton-Blend Honeycomb-Knit Sweater.

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S2E8: Diane, Kimono Top

Damn, I miss Carla. But unfortunately, Season 2 is primarily centered around the relationship between Sam and Diane. So, we get more of Diane. More pastels, more lace, more priggish high-neck sweaters, more boring shin-length skirts. But once in a while she finds a little sartorial backbone. As with this kimono sleeve sweater and oversized pendant.

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Once again, we find that even Diane, in 1983, could pass for a modern woman. As evidenced by Zara and Bottica:

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1. Zara Kimono Sleeve Top in Washed Blue. 2. Zara Combination Denim Top. 3. Zara Kimoni Sleeve Top in Blue. 4. Hawthorn Black Opticians Test Lens. 5. Becky Dockree Jewelry Spiral Orb Pendant. 6. Elena Canter Mosul Pendant.

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S2E8: Diane, B&W

So often wearing pale pastels, it’s a relief to see Diane in a black and white outfit. Finally, she’s come to embrace the possibilities of the 1980s: oversized sweaters, monochrome palettes, and colorblocking. Compared to Carla’s overt bitterness, Diane’s hard edge can be hard to locate.

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Especially when she’s being an uptite little obsessive compuslive. Above, Diane points to her apron and delivers the following monologue:

“I had a small obsession myself until I got some help. I was obsessive compulsive about neatness. I demanded that everything be in its proper place. But now look at the laissez faire attitude I have about my apron. In the old days I would have insisted that it be pencil, pen, pencil, pen, pad. Well now it doesn’t matter if it’s pen, pencil, pen, pencil, pad, or pencil, pencil, pen, pen, pad, or even pencil, pen, pad, pencil, pen. But there’s one thing I cannot have and that’s this: pad, pen, pen, pencil, pencil. That’s just irritating.”

Below, Zara sets the (desaturated) tone:

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1. Zara Captain Style T-Shirt. 2. Zara Combined Faux Leather T-Shirt. 3. Zara Tricolour Dress. 4. Neil Barrett Walnut Box Knit Pullover. 5. Tsumori Chisato Doll Cashmere Pullover. 6. Dusan Two Tone Sweater.

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S2: Diane, Pearls

Diane may have lost her sizeable inheritance and become a cocktail waitress, but she never lost her haughty airs. Wanting to look like an overeducated tennis-club-frequenting blue-blooded aristocrat, Diane’s jewelry of choice is, of course, a pearl necklace.

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Now, I am not a Jew of the JAP (Jewish American Princess) variety. My car has a salvage title, my favorite clothes are from Salvation Army, and I haven’t had a manicure since I went to prom. Don’t get me wrong: I’m spoiled and I won’t take public transportation, I’m just not really a pearls kind of girl. I did receive a few sets of classic pearls for my Bat Mitzvah fifteen years ago, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never worn them. Here are a few more modern alternatives that I would wear. If I had to wear pearls.

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Clockwise from top left:

1. Ligia Dias Pendu Necklace. 2. Chan Luu Pearl Tassel Necklace. 3. Lisa Freede Chain & Pearl Necklace. 4. Florian Double Bead Necklace. 5. Sweet Child Pearl Necklace. 6. Dogeared Pearls of Friendship on Gold Silk Thread Necklace. 7. Lizzie Fortunato Sacred Valley Necklace. 8. ASOS Limited Edition Pearl Glasses Necklace.

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S2E6: Diane, Red Sweaters

I know, I know. Too much Diane, not enough Carla. But since Sam and Diane started dating, every episode in Season 2 is Diane-saturated and Carla-thirsty. So, we have to make do with what we’ve got. Thankfully, even Diane’s dullest outfits always have a few redeeming qualities that keep them interesting. In this case, it’s the embellished neckline of her red sweater.

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Sheer, polka dot, cutout, two-tone, and cropped, here are a few red sweaters with eye-catching details.

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1. Cedric Charlier Red Sheer Panel Jumper. 2. Carven Poppy Knit Jumper with Slits. 3. Equipment Polka-Dot Sweater. 4. Marni Two-Tone Cashmere Sweater. 5. Topshop Knitted Textured Stitch Crop Jumper.

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S2E5: Diane’s Little White Dress

If you recall from the Pilot: Diane Chambers post (or from the pilot episode itself), Diane first appeared at Cheers when she was quite literally dumped on the way to the altar by her fiance (and professor), Sumner Sloan. In Season 2, Episode 5, Sloan returns to try to win Diane back. Only by this point, she’s dating Sam Malone. Perhaps a not-so-subtle nod to the wedding that never took place, Diane wears a white dress.

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The pompous Sloan tries to convince Diane that she belongs more in his (highbrow) world than in Sam’s (lowbrow) bar. Ever loyal to her dream of getting rid of Diane for good, Carla offers to help:

Carla: Hey Sammy, how ’bout I throw the scuzzball outta here?
Sam: No, Diane would be furious.
Carla: I was talking about Diane.

That disco cut — flowy sleeves, cinched waist, full skirt — isn’t easy to find these days. And the ones that do exist aren’t exactly easy on your bank account. But here are a few modern-day options:

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1. Viktor & Rolf Crepe and Georgette Silk Dress. 2. J. Mendel Long Sleeve Dress. 3. L’Wren Scott Silk Chiffon and Crepe Dress. 4. Whistles Leyla Drawstring Dress. 5. Chloe Ruffle-Sleeve Grosgrain Dress. 6. Alice + Olivia Tavi Pintuck Dress.

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S2E4: Gold Chains, Diane Chambers-Style

When I imagine someone wearing multiple “gold chains,” it’s not a dainty or delicate image. In fact, I mostly just imagine 2 Chainz. And he looks like this. But Diane Chambers knows how to feminize pretty much any accessory or article of clothing. (As opposed to Carla, who knows how to de-feminize pretty much everything).

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Reiss‘s Spring line of shirts includes two with a likeness to Diane’s. And here are a (price) range of gold(ish) mult-chain necklaces.

s2e4dianemod1. Reiss Jade Layered Shirt. 2. Reiss 1971 Delfine Dipped Back Top. 3. Forever 21 Ombré Snake Chain Necklace. 4. Guess Gold-Tone Slinky Chain Necklace. 5. Rosantica Multi-Strand Necklace.

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S2E3: Finally, Diane’s First Good Outfit

Finally. It only took 25 episodes for Diane Chambers to wear a truly likeable outfit. No pastels, no ruffles, no lace, no silk, no puff sleeves, not even a pussy bow (a certified Man Repeller) in sight.

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Perhaps it can be attributed to the fact that in the finale of Season 1, Sam and Diane finally sealed the deal. Just a wee bit of sex with a man and Diane suddenly realized she wasn’t a virginal pilgrim, and could thus stop dressing like one. A chunky knit sweater, an a-line skirt, a tie belt, deep purples and reds, even a black purse. She let go of her anal-retentive stiffness and got dressed like a normal person. Finally.

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1. P.A.R.O.S.H Cowl Neck Sweater. 2. Rachel Comey Chunky Side Zip Shell. 3. Isabel Marant Anaid Star Shoes. 4. Kaliko Cowl Neck Long Sleeve Top in Dark Purple. 5. Moovy Beige Knit Sweater. 6. Diane Von Furstenberg Connor Suede Belt. 7. Steven Alan Claudia Skirt. 8. Clare Vivier Sac Bretelle. 9. Reiss Della Multi Colour Pleat Skirt in Navy. 10. Jigsaw Tasselled Obi Belt.

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S2: Diane x Madewell

Diane’s Season 2 uniform: demure knit sweaters, button-down shirts, below-the-knee skirts, all in a pale pastel palette. The eternal student and teacher’s pet, feminine yet completely un-sexy.

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Madewell’s Spring 2013 lookbook offers a contemporary take on the Diane uniform while sticking to its core components. The plus? Madewell has found a way to add a bit (a very teeny bit) of sex appeal to the nerdy schoolgirl look.

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The best part is that Madewell is now carrying one of my favorite brands, Ace & Jig (dress second from left), which I first discovered at Mira Mira in San Francisco.

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S1: Diane in Silks

Though she appears stiff in comparison to Carla’s loose tongue and tomboyish style, Diane’s wardrobe is a testament to her character and, in a way, bravery. Who of us would continue to wear silk “pussy bow” blouses despite their hideous name (and look)? Who of us would dare wear granny sweater vests and pilgrim shirts?

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Sometimes, though, she reeled it in, trading her signature over-the-top prudishness and girliness for a simple silk shirt. Phew.

dianesilkmod1. Diane von Furstenberg Hayden Pleated Silk Crepe De Chine Blouse. 2. Richard Nicoll Ruffle-Collar Silk-Crepe Blouse. 3. Equipment Signature Sheer Blouse. 4. Equipment Major Blouse.

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S1E20: Diane’s Ugliest Outfit Still a Winner

The beauty of interpretation is that even Diane Chambers’ ugliest outfit can be salvaged. Jump forward 30 years and a patterned blouse, green skirt, red necklace, and red purse can come together to make a nice version of something that was probably considered chic in its own time but now appears dowdy and outdated.

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1. Club Monaco Sophie Shirt. 2. Free People Vintage 1980s Beaded Lariat Necklace. 3. T by Alexander Wang Knitted Mini Skirt. 4. Peter Jensen Knotted Belt. 5. Rebecca Minkoff Flirty Bag in Lipstick.

*In this episode, Diane’s mother comes to the bar to announce that, according to her dead husband’s will, if Diane doesn’t marry someone by a certain impending date, she will lose her inheritance. Carla takes the opportunity to out Diane’s crush on Sam:

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S1E14: Carla’s “Diane” Sweater

A few of the outfits seen in the white Nikes post are worth revisiting. For example:

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Sure, it’s a simple sweater-and-jeans outfit. But The best part of the modern outfit is that Rag & Bone make a “Diane Sweater.” I would have loved to see Carla’s reaction to that. Barely an episode goes by without Carla expressing her feelings of disgust towards Diane.

Carla: Ya know I am sick of hearing about her! Ever since Lady Dye-Job arrived she gets all the attention. Nobody cares about me anymore.
Cliff: Carla, c’mon now, be fair. We weren’t that interested in your life before she got here.
 -from S1E13

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1. Madewell Skinny Ankle Jeans in Black Frost Wash. 2. Madewell Skinny High Riser Jeans in Black Frost Wash. 3. Rag & Bone “Diane” Sweater. 4. Iris & Ink Seamed Cashmere Sweater.

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S1E13: Diane, Oversized Red Coat

All bundled up and covered in layers of wool, winter (or summer, if you’re in San Francisco like I am) can feel like a boring season for your wardrobe. Unless you have some statement outerwear pieces like Diane’s oversized red coat:

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Of course, at the time, it probably wasn’t considered oversized.

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1. Rachel Comey Shasta Coat. 2. Carven Summer 2013 Preview. 3. Jil Sander Fire Red Oversized Wool Coat. 4. Joseph Man Wool and Cashmere-Blend Coat. 5. Marni Double Face Coat.

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In Honor of Valentine’s Day Part I: Lingerie

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You already know how I feel about kitten heels. And Diane might like them, but pink and lace aren’t really my thing. Like Carla, I’m not the most feminine of women. For example, it was only from looking for modern alternatives to Diane’s pink nightie that I actually learned the difference between (and in some cases, the name of) a teddy, a chemise, a nightie, a camisole, and a slip.

I’m not one who can understand spending $600 on a plane ticket, let alone a nightie, but for those of you who can, here are some that don’t make me feel like I’m at a My Pretty Pony orgy.

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1. Rosamosario Silk-Georgette Chemise. 2. Zinke Andi Jumper. 3. Jenny Packham Open Front Babydoll. 4. Araks Ryan Short Slip. 5. byLangley Brulee Vamp Teddy.

Here’s to Saint Valentine, of whom “nothing is reliably known except his name and the fact that he died on February 14,” according to Wikipedia. (Seems like we did a bit of unfounded postulating in creating this sappy holiday in his name, now, doesn’t it?)

Cheers,

Chloe

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Diane Chambers De-Girlified

As you can see from the last few posts about Diane (Valentine’s Day, Pilgrim Shirts, and Sweaters), her wardrobe is often an explosion of ineffectual femininity: pastel pinks and purples (the weakest colors on the wheel), kitten heels (the most useless type of heel there is), sweater vests (I honestly don’t remember the last time I saw a woman wearing a sweater vest), and pussy bow blouses (the name is so vile I can’t even bring myself to say it out loud). She might as well be wearing hearts and rainbows and unicorns and actual vaginas on her person. I don’t even want to find modern alternatives.

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However, when Diane deviates from the safety of her cable knits, as with her oft-repeated go-to of silk shirts paired with vests, it is easy to imagine a less girly version. A touch of masculinity could go a long way for Diane. (Then again, a touch of femininity could do wonders for dear old Carla.) Diane Chambers, de-girlified:

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1. L’agence Silk Blouse. 2. Anke Blouse. 3. Ganni Black Waistcoat. 4. Madewell Billie Boot. 5. Jeffrey Campbell Fontane. 6. Nasty Gal Runaway Stud Vest.

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Season 1: Diane’s Sweaters

Carla vs. Diane, the priss vs. the tomboy, the beanpole blonde vs. the pocket-size brunette. If I had to choose one of their wardrobes, I would not hesitate to choose Carla’s. But Diane is adorable in her own way. Like a toy poodle. Or a baby giraffe. Here is her collection of sweaters (and sweater vests, blah) from Season 1:

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And a few updated versions (some with mock sweater-vests, to boot!):

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1. Kelly Wearstler Selva Slashed Cashmere Sweater. 2. Charlie & Robin Coral Isle Pullover. 3. Sparrow Subpixel Pullover. 4. Blue Fleck Yarn Knit Jumper with Contrast Point Collar. 5. Fine Cable Knit Sweater with Crew Neckline. 6. Michael Bastian Fairlise Shetland Sweater. 7. Boutique by Jaeger Spacedye Waffle Knit in Cotton.

And last but not least, the Gudrun & Gudrun Faroe Jumper from Plumo, another gem I was introduced to by Anne Sage of The City Sage.

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S1: Diane, the Pilgrim

Throughout Season 1, Diane Chambers insists on wearing an assortment of ridiculous high-collar puff-sleeve blouses that magnify her prudishness and pretension to Pilgrim-ish heights. Of course, toting a Carl Jung book around doesn’t help her cause, either.

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Today, I show modern alternatives to Diane’s collection of pilgrim shirts.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I would actually wear one of these. (My people – the Jews, if that isn’t clear by now – didn’t exactly land on Plymouth Rock, plus, regardless of my immigrant heritage, my neck is too short for a high collar.) Nor am I necessarily suggesting that you wear one, either. Rather, this post is for the skeptical who still believe that the outfits on Cheers are unfashionable, outdated, or just plain ugly. Tell that to the globe’s leading fashion houses.

Fendi and Gucci and Dolce, oh my!

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1. Fendi Long Sleeve Blouse. 2. Anna Sui Black/Lipstick Multicolor Silk Top. 3. Gucci Crepe De Chine Pussy Bow Blouse. 4. Roberto Cavalli Sheer Blouse. 5. Kenzo Puff Sleeve Blouse. 6. Labour of Love Pussy Bow Blouse. 7. Cacharel Vintage Mandarin Collar Blouse. 8. Emilio Pucci Rosewood and Orange Lurex Silk Top. 9. Miu Miu Silk Blouse with Pussy Bow. 10. M Missoni Perforated Blouse. 11. Hakaan Khaki Cut Out Silk Top. 12. Dolce & Gabbana Printed Blouse.

Here’s to the founders of our great country (and the Jews who balance their checkbooks)!

Cheers,

Chloe

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S1E8 (follow-up): The Fight

A follow-up to the last post: It’s no secret that there was no love lost between Carla Tortelli and Diane Chambers. Name-calling, verbal spats, and practical jokes were a common occurrence between the two close-knit enemies. But on the day that Carla wore that perfect geometric tee, things got physical.

It started innocently enough:

Carla: Listen, Pencil-Neck, you’re startin’ to get on my nerves.
Diane: Please don’t call me Pencil-Neck. I am not a pencil-neck.
Carla: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call you Pencil-Neck, Gozzle-Head.
Diane: Name-calling. The last refuge of the mono-syllabic.
Carla: I don’t know what that means but I heard “slob” in there.

But later on, more insults were exchanged and tensions heightened:

Carla: You wanna be my friend? Let your hair down!
Diane: How about I take your hair and scour the sink with it?
Carla: Is that a brillo shot?
Diane: Only if it offends you.
Carla: You sound like a lady who is getting tired of her teeth!
Diane: I’m tired of your teeth and all the vermicelli in between!

And thus…

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At no more than five feet tall, the little spitfire, the beloved namesake of this blog, Carla had to be restrained. Gotta love her!

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Valentine’s Day: Carla vs. Diane

It’s easy to imagine what Diane Chambers – the eternal optimist, the feminine lace-and-puff-sleeve-loving, purple-and-pink-wearing aspiring poetess, the highfalutin Shakespeare-reading romantic – might wear on Valentine’s day (if she could ever get her unrequited love Sam Malone to commit).

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Diane tends towards the delicate, the pastel, the classic black and white – anything to draw Sam’s attention away from the common hussy at the bar and towards her more refined (read: stuffy), hard-to-get (read: frigid), subtle (read: prudish) ways.

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1. Rachel Comey Loveless Atlat Top.  2. Dior Junior Vintage Round Sunglasses.  3. Equipment Femme Mina Black/Nude Heart Print Sleeveless Shirt.  4. Anya Hindmarch Joss Heart Studded Purse.  5. Moschino Vintage Heart Dress.  6. Robert Clergerie Jonas Loafer.  7. Vanrycke Heart Necklace.  8. Forever 21 Heart Print Scarf.  9. Asos Peplum Dress in Heart Print.

On the other hand, there’s Carla Tortelli – the eternal pessimist, the diehard Boston Red Sox fan, the aggressive and foul-mouthed single mother of four (or five or six…I know she ends up with eight but to which season each pregnancy belongs is a bit hazy), the Nike-wearing tomboy. What might she have worn on Valentine’s day if any of the three fathers of her raggamuffin brood showed up with flowers in hand?

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Find Carla a Valentine’s Day-themed sneaker, sweatshirt, hair clip, diaper bag, or a heart-shaped ring that could leave a dent in a rude customer’s face, and she might just be willing to play along.

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1. Vintage Needlepoint Hearts Vans (This is the real thing. Carla might actually have worn these on the show. Ebay will be your best bet to find ones like these).  2. Chinti and Parker Heart Sweater.  3. Moschino Round Frame Sunglasses.  4. Tobi Meeting Hearts Ring.  5. ban.do Cross My Heart Gold Plated Bobbi Pin.  6. Two-Sided Heart Tote.  7. Lauren Moffatt Love Pocket Top.

Here’s to Sam and Diane, Carla and…well, whoever can afford a dinner for two!

Cheers,

Chloe

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Pilot: Diane Chambers

In the pilot episode of Cheers, Diane Chambers quickly transforms from a pretentious tightly-wound blue-blooded grad student about to marry her professor into a (pretentious tightly-wound blue-blooded) jilted barmaid. This is illustrated by a major transformation in her clothes.

See exhibit A:

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From sipping a martini to taking beer orders in an apron, Diane always maintains an air of sophistication, albeit pompous. With almost identical blouses and skirts, plus an overabundance of plaid, available today, it’s easy to achieve Diane’s highs and lows.

See Exhibit B:

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1. Funktional Silk Fold Top.  2. See by Chloé Plaid Shirt Dress.  3. Gianfranco Ferre Vintage Wrap Skirt.  4. Burberry Brit ‘Kristie’ Plaid Dress in pink and in blue.

Here’s to Diane!

Cheers,

Chloe

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